Are Some Personalities Sinful?

Before I get too far into this post, I want to begin by saying I'm a recovering shyaholic. I guess you could say it's genetic. All my life I was told I was shy, I was presented to others as "he's just shy", I was excused from uncomfortable conversations, and I avoided meeting new people at all costs. So, shyness runs deep in my blood. You wouldn't guess it now by looking at me or talking to me; that is mainly because it has taken me years of hard work, help from others, and radical internal change from God.

But, every now and then, that old temptation crosses my mind: "I don't really need to go meet that new person, someone else will say hi to them" or "I don't need to speak up right now, I don't really have anything valuable to say". I guess you could say I'm sober, but always in recovery.

Over the years, as God has revealed the reasons behind my shyness, I have learned that much of my behavior is sinful. Did I choose to be shy as a child? Definitely not. Did I have a choice as I got older? Absolutely. Was it easy? Absolutely not.

You see, I have learned that my shyness stemmed from two major problems: doubt in myself, and doubt in others. I doubted that I truly had anything valuable to offer others in relationship, so to avoid rejection or letting anyone down, I saved them the trouble by avoiding interaction. I doubted others in that a part of me believed there was no real value to meeting new people or forming new relationships. I was comfortable where I was, with the few friends I had, and no one else was going to give me anything better. Do you see how selfish all of that is?

Granted, not everyone that is shy goes through this same mental process. Some are truly scared to talk. The idea of meeting someone new or speaking to a small group of people terrifies them. However, the core issue behind it all is selfishness. We are concerned more about our "image" and not risking vulnerability than we are connecting with others. What you have here is the sin of fearing man over God. Hebrews 13:6 says "The Lord is my helper; I will not fear: What can man do to me?" I don't like that word "fear", though; it gives room for excuses. "I won't go skydiving because I have a fear of heights" or "I won't go see that movie because I'm afraid of machete-wielding clowns". How about, instead of focusing on what we're afraid of, we focus on what we gain by being God's vessel? John 12:42-43 says "But because of the Pharisees they would not confess their faith for fear that they would be put out of the synagogue; for they loved praise from men more than praise from God." The people referred to in this passage miss out on the wonderful blessings from God because they let their fear of man rule their lives.

Then, there's the opposite side of the pendulum: the "opinionated", or the in-your-face talker. Is it wrong to have opinions? Absolutely not. Is it wrong to force your opinions on others? Yes. And that's just the thing: opinions are self-inclinations or preferences, not facts. It is unfair and wrong to assume someone else would live their lives the exact way you would, simply because you think it's preferable. There are those personalities that love to talk, love the attention, and love having the spotlight on them. Again, we see the core problem is selfishness. Their attraction to attention overshadows everyone else in the room.

So, to answer the title of this blog ('Are Some Personalities Sinful?'), I would have to say no, personalities are not sinful. Personalities are what make us unique and individually created by God. However, I would not classify either shyness or being opinionated as personalities. I would classify them as outward results of incorrect thinking. They are merely facets of a personality, not the personality itself. You see anything good can get twisted and corrupted. There are plenty of amazing people who tend to be either more introverted or more extroverted that are not being dominated by their own personalities. So, the next time you hear someone say, "Oh, don't worry about him, he's just shy" or "Don't be offended by what she says, she's just opinionated", may that be a gentle reminder to ask yourself "In what ways am I letting selfishness define my personality?"